my birthday

God You're awesome, I could never thank You enough for what You've done to my life

do you really mean what you tweet?

am not as neurotic as Wally in The Switch...but lately i've been questioning bout sincerity of anything that ones said in twitter

if one tweet #prayforjapan, i got a bit irritated. i think that pray is a vertical intimate relationship with God. u shud go to your room, lock the door, then pray. if you tweet like that, are you honestly praying or is it just another empty words. do you really mean it? don't get me wrong, my heart goes to all the victims of tsunami in japan. i just think that if you mean what you're saying, you shud pray (like really2 praying), go donate...make some efforts to help. a tweet is just a tweet and won't change nothing -- real actions is what they need. also, making jokes bout captain tsubasa, doraemon n miyabi are totally suck. how bout if you or anyone in your family affected with such tragedy?

another thing is about complaining. well, who doesn't have problems these days? you can complain once, twice...but not everytime. your life might sucks, but complaining all the time won't make it right :)

then too much informations about what you're doing, or some PDA couples. well thank goodness i don't follow these sick ppl anymore, so no stories

on top of everything is RT. why wud anyone retweet if there's no added value for its followers? so ppl think you've had lotsa frens? come on seriously, are you that boring? once in a blue moon is ok, or maybe if your RT is containing some useful informations -- but not your every tweet, darling

ok if i continue this i might really sound like Wally :P

so bye for now

myob

thinking what i was and what i am now...what i want back then and what is really happening now

funny how things turn around, one day am lost then am found...and then lost again, then finally found for good

none can really understand what's really goin on. one can make a judgment and pretending to know d whole things, while i think they're just not make any sense. u might talk behind my back, but i don't care. i've been living with gossips whole my life so one sickening gossip won't let me down. life's too short and you only live once..mind your own biz ppl

only sorry

For a bff..

Am guilty as charged. Said I'll try to stay away from him but I didn't do it. I know u must be really disappointed of my decisions that I still hang out with him until now

It's as simple as this..we're all friends and I cannot choose. Pls don't make me choose, for u both of u made d amazing frenz I have in my small world

I understand perhaps my attitude was a lil bit childish and for that I truly apologize. I could shut d hell up and try not to drain ur energy...if u maybe ever think I did

I pray for u to forgive me if I ever hurt u. I luv u
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Rome wasn't built in a day

Evening..

Now I cannot recall to ever watched any mini series as great as Rome...best dialogue u had to concentrate, nice intrigues, sex, revenge...made me like d politics, surely not in my own country :P

D movie was practically made Julius Caesar (1953) & Cleopatra (1963) boring to watch. Well if u're so into history (I surely wasn't), actually u won't agree to all d movie bout Caesar & Mark Antony..or any historical movie, as never a hollywood movie ever exactly described d history as it was stated in d ancients books, bible, or wikipedia.

U see Passion of the Christ, which described d last 12 hours of Jesus' life. There're many exaggerations & non-biblical elements put into d movie for d sake of making a good monies. Without a drama, a crucifixion til death won't sell, right Mel (Gibson)? :P

Now back to Rome, watch it makes me curious and wanted to know more bout d real story, so I curiously googled while watching. There are elements such as characters, themes, and motives that are not found in wiki, but are there in the movie to add more emotions and drama, spiced up with intriguing politics. Totally a very expensive movie.

Watching it makes me think I know nothing of Rome n why it happened to be d center of arts, education, n many great ppl from Rome made a history. Just like a song, Rome wasn't built in a day. Wish I cud go there someday...must be exciting.

Gtg

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old songs

Dear blog gods, Forgive me for leaving this blog empty...for months.

Guess this's d time where d writer shud b back. Am back bcuz of my brain was freezed, my english is gettin worse n I feel empty inside without writing..ok, d last one is just an empty joke.

D last tym I wrote is on March, so lotsa stuffs I'd like to update now, especially 4 d kaypoh gal who's been crazed bout me since she found out am hottie..bleh. Well, I found a nu hobby, to download old boybands songs, bieber, jonas bro's, cyrus, bruno mars, n many more..such a freaky teen I know...not d downloading part, but d old boybands things :D U name it, I got all..guess I'll always live in d past.

Funny to remember old days, say back in junior hi..I used to record my fav songs from d radio, hoping that d DJ won't talk too much so I got d song in full version without cut. Or, order an mp3 disc from internet cafe..this u can choose approx 100 fav songs -- they're almost have it all. Oaight, nd ta eat sumthin..gtg now.

Cheerio..
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curcol in d morning

am feeling flat now...everything runs...flat. guess i need a wake up call to gimme strength to achieve want i been looking for. somebody pls wake meee...

continuing bout yesterday, i didn wait for my fren any longer. after approx 30mins of waiting i left the parking lot. d shitty thing is she didn' call me to say sorry or sumthin. hello, it's her who wants to meet me, said that she needs some1 to talk to during difficult times. now as she didn' appear, this is d time to get mad at her, but i feel it's not necessary...i rest my case but i dun know if i can forgive her.

many times she said that i've been busy n forget bout her, hard to meet me, blah blah blah. think i've been very cooperative these days when it comes to meeting old fren...u name d date n place. well, it's still morning, let's not sweat it..many things need attention. this stupid dating thing is not supposed to affect nothing.

happy working :P

canceled to watch JJF

Yoo..

Canceled my plan to go to Java Jazz today. I just dun feel like seeing
a crowded place full of ppl. Nd to have a silent nite n juz having a
light chat wit a fren. This's wat am gonna do now. Finished d massage
n creambath @ salon near my house, and now am ready to meet old fren.

One thing bout her..she's d one n only fren whom I get approval from
my bolly to hang out with. The others are juz...not easy. Well, this
girl is seriously need a gud alarm. Been 15 mins am waiting her @ d
parking lot, n she's still not here. Can't contact her also. Now am
thinking, is it worth it to cancel Java Jazz juz to meet this
gal...hmmmm..

--
Sent from my mobile device

white lies

Helping others by cheating. God, teach me how to 4give this guy. Once
a liar always a liar, right?

I can't believe that d office' driver is cheating for all these times.
He bought highway ticket from taxi driver and use it to get
reimbursement from d office. Not only that, he was also faking finish
time in order to get higher overtime. I believed he did that ever
since d office hired him.

Wat a jerk. I backed him up all the time, and give wat he asked me
to..borrowed him money n also giving some cash occasionally. I never
bother to check on the time listed in his overtime form, thought he
only get lil so let's not be stingy. Some users were also given him
some cash when they use d car.

For everything we did to him, he's still cheating. Said that he had a
lot of children to take care n also his father is sick, hence d money
is essential -- this I agree, but does d cheating is also essential?

I talk to him about his cheating n how shocked n dissapointed I am, he
felt sorry for that. Hours after, he smsed me said that he wants to
borrow some cash from me. I didn reply his sms, of course. This man is
already losing his dignity.

Thank God I've a fren to listen n give some nice advices. I told him
evrything about this n he returns wit a heartwarming suggestions. He
gamme such amount that d driver wants and ask me to give it to d
driver because my fren feel sorry for d driver' economic conditions.

I rejected his money right away. I said I never like d driver' face,
reminds me of a politician who has a devil face...d face u can never
trust. I know it's not fair to judge a book by its cover, but this
'book'...I'd rather not to even just to see d cover from a glimpse.
Many 'books' I've to deal wit everyday n nd my attention, I better
stay away b4 this insignificant 'book' ruin my day.

My dear fren give a revelation for me and remind me bout Jesus who
saves d world...saints, sinners...all r saved bcuz of his sacrifice.
Wat's d use if we only love d ppl who loved us? Don't Jesus said that
u've to love ur enemy? Everybody's deserved a 2nd chance. I was stood.
Nobody ever told me this thing when am grumbling. He is wise in d way
I can accept it.

After waiting in minutes for me to reply his sms, d driver was coming
to my desk to ask me bout d money directly. After hearing from his
side regarding his condition etc. etc., finally his tears come out
when telling me bout his sick father. God, am so sorry but I juz dun
know why can't I feel pity for this man. I dun have even a lil
sympathy. I heard that this driver had at least 15 orphans to take
care, plus now his own father who is sick.

It might be hard to survive, and at this stage...there must be a
sacrifice, u nd to let go something, and pick which is much more
important. I'd prefer parents on top of everything. Anyway, talk is
cheap, maybe I juz dun understand wat d fuss is really goin on. I
still thinking if u want to help others, u cannot feed em wit 'harram'
money. The thing he did is a subordinate of white lies.

Deep inside I know he wants to use me, maybe he thought it's bcuz am a
woman so I should've feel sympathy easily, well I don't -- my heart is
freezed already. But I gave him such amount he asked. He said that he
will repay after d payday, I said no nd.

This will b d last, since this is not d 1st time he asked.

D next day, my fren send me a link thru chat:
http://s140.blueapple.mobi/85/51/8551e4d2b037afeed79b18cf4ca9c288/ba124807/8551_w_1.3gp?c=149514562&u=134837393&s=BJvq

U nd to save d link before open it. It's about sacrifice. Cried my
tears out when watching d climax bcuz am still on d train, am d angry
one.

Blessings,
M

--
Sent from my mobile device

androgyny

Yooo...

Is Lady Gaga really a man? Bolly is brokenhearted to hear that. I
don't buy that gossip, it's d stupidest thing I heard since rumor that
am lesbian back when I was still in college. Read wiki n it's a hoax,
but my brokenhearted husband didn trust me -- if he was in my college
back then, he might be believe am lesbian too -_-'

Guys, Megan n Gaga are truly gal, who might be androgyny..but that's
notha story. Why can't u accept a way-too-hottie artist just like that
without questioning their 'parts'? Just enjoy d view n shut d hell up,
will ya..

Gotta go to cheer bolly n say wat I juz wrote

--
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only for kaypoh

am back for a fan...

I stop writing fer a while due to there's a pathetic kaypoh who
printed all my blogs n read it over n over again for the sake of
knowing d real me. Well, I don't give a s***... now. Only if u tend to
like to print something, pls print Harry Potter 7th book. I have d
softcopy n didn have d chance to read it cuz I dun like to read from
laptop, but also didn want to print it due to printing cost conscious.

I understand u dun have a life n real frens u can hang out n spend
time with, so I tried to help u here, u can print it for me...and
maybe there'll be notha printing tasks for u to do if u make me
satisfy. I know u like my writings, so am gonna make lotsa blogs just
for u to read every day n nite til u drop -- that's what I'll give ya
in return. Sounds fair, huh??

Well, also I dun want to fake anything. This is d real me which u r
facing now. If u want to know me more, am not like any other
gal..especially u, am not boring like u. Welcome to d dark side of me,
dear. I do anything I want, if that's make me a bitch, ok :*

Your gorgeous foe,
M

--
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my bff' wedding

Am not a gud fren, actually am sucks. I didn come to my bff wedding, n
when I want to apologize thru sms, very smart I didn keep her mobile #
bcuz I lost some contacts in . I didn want to call her @ d first
place bcuz I can't stand her dissapointed voice. She's my bff since I
was in college. Since am a bit antisocial back then, she's d only one
who understands me n we shared lotsa things together. I also had some
gals to share jokes n acting silly together, but I spent more time wit
her.

She was there @ my wedding, n there's no reason I didn come to her. If
only my hubby wasn't sick, or I cud leave him and juz drive to Harapan
Indah in a heavy rain. I cud do that. I cud drive to somewhere Bekasi,
I cud face d traffic n big2 truck on my way there, I cud stand
angkot..crazy bikers..even d rocky roads. But why didn I????

I owe her my big apologize. Fyi, it's not my 1st tym didn come to my
bff' wedding bcuz of unforeseen stuffs, n for that am truly sorry.
Wedding gift altogether wit apologize gift on it's way, dear.

Faraway, yet always thinking of u.

--
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nyalon pagi2

Gud morning world. Udah sampe Laris neh, n dgn semangat '45 mao
creambath n massage...taunya br bs jam 8, jam segini mah baru bs cuci
blow...yasudlah gw cuci blow saja.

Ga biasanya butuh pijit so bad kayak gini. Ini imbas kmrn nungguin
Bolly yg masih byk urusan d Ritz, PP sampe jam 11an. Thou kmrn byk
makhluk kewen2 yg ikutan Fashion Week, tetep aja ga bisa tune.

Maybe I shud drop by @ lunch time. Anyway, knp mbak2 yg nge-blow gw
tangannya gemeteran...blm makan kali ya.. Gemeteran boleh mbak, asal
jgn pake lama, tar keburu 3 in 1..

--
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b4 I close my eyes

Lg seneng gigit pipi Bolly...I found his cheek like a ripe red apple
He seemed scared of my new habit, maybe he thought am gonna eat his
cheek like Hannibal Lecter did in Silence of the Lambs :D

It's already time to go to land of dreams, but I cannot. Tried not to
think of anything n it works, there's nothing in mind at d
moment...but I know they'll all b coming once I shut my eyes. Wish
there's a medicine that can make me sleep n not giving any chance for
my mind to think on the way there (sleep).

Mmm..I nd to sleep so tomorrow am strong enuff to face d day. Or,
since the doomsday issue been crazier these days, I just hoping I'll
wake up in heaven...a real one, of course ;)

See u God.

--
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from d bottom of my broken heart

Sometimes org naif kayak gw perlu dikasih liat jelek2nya orang, so gw
ga nganggep smuanya lurus2 aja. Someone like me wud always do sumthin
to d best n not take it for granted, but I left a big mistake...I
never wanted to take any credit for wat I've done. That's where am
wrong. I learned today that if u did sumthin, u've to let ppl know, so
they can give sort of a compliment..which for whole these times I
thought it was silly n so lickie.

Well, I don't want to sweat wat am feeling now. I'll find my way to
get away from all these sh***. I don't do lick ass (except literally
;P); not looking after compliments; avoid politics n hypocrisy. So,
take me or leave me. Lesson learned today is "don't work too hard,
family must always b d 1st priority."

Am so full of anger now, n trying not to throw it up to anyone so am
writing here. Writing makes me calm, besides a bottle of wine, of
course ;) Since am already broke due to this month' expenses seemed to
be floating like hell, guess blogging is more reasonable than
drinking. So u'll know where am I away if not blogging...JK :D

Am outtiiiieee..

--
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The Rebound

Been a very bad blogger I know. Udah lama ga update and now I just
want to give some light updates about d last movie I seen.

Last monday I watched The Rebound. It's a so called a-true-movie. It's
true because d words n d feelings just got into me. Ceritanya ttg
single mom (hubby was cheated on her), shifted to big town with her 2
lil children. Since she's a carreer woman, she needs a nanny to take
care d kids, so there's the cutie berondong to be d nanny. One thing
leads to another, they're naturally falling in love with each other.

Actually not d romantic story that keeps me thinking. There's a part
where d couple split up for like 5 years before they get together once
again at the end of the movie. What's got me interested is how they
live their life n still move on. Am so touched by the way d guy
spending d years by doing humanity works, going to India n Africa to
help poor people, make changes, build something up, having fun with
different kind of ppl..in short, he discovered n enjoyed d true face
of d world.

Life is too short to be ordinary.

Right now am not thinking on going somewhere decent. If someone ask me
to go to Africa (dibayarin yaa..) to help poor ppl, I'd jump from my
seat n say out loud "I Do!!"

--
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me vs hi heels

Evening,

Sblm bubu, me mo curhat dulu soal kaki...hikzz,, lagi pegel bener krn
keseringan pake hi heels. Emang lately gw pake hh mulu. Nggak sengaja
sih, tp emang pas gw liat koleksi d lemari yg ada banyakan hh. Sampe
binun sendiri knp ngga ada yg teplek n nggak nyakitin betis itu.
Kalopun bkn hh, yg ada tuh selop2 model bakiak (dun know wat it
called). Sdikit flash back, kalo beli spatu gw emang ngasal aja, kalo
keliatan nice ya dibeli..tnp memperdulikan kenyamanan. Haduuuhhh..ini
yg harus saya ubah kalo masih sayang sm kaki n ga mao kena varises.
Talking bout varises, gw takut bgt kalo smp kena..alamat ga bs pake
mini skirt lg duonk *winkwink*

Kmrn tuh baru brasa pussiiinnggg bgt pake hh krn baru ganti pake yg
laen..model tertutup gt (yg gw sering pake talinya copot..pdhl blm ada
sebulan gw beli). Fyi, ga ada sepatu yg bertahan lbh dr setengah taun
sm gw...berapapun harganya. In my case I can say that men are much
more loyal than shoes *lol*

Hari ini gw pake sendal hh yg byasa, which I felt comfy n got used to
run wit...but apparently, efek dr pake spatu hh yg kmrn masih brasa.
Ini pusing n pegel datengnya dr bawah naik ke kepala. Am surprised of
how this thing cud make such a dizzy. Apalagi pas lunch td d PP n
liftnya penuh mulu, so I've to walk thru d escalator...wth.

Anyway, this weekend am goin to hunt sendal teplek..shud definitely
hav at least 1.

Skrg kakiku yg stres ini lg beristirahat. Barusan gw rub pake
counterpain byar urat2nya ga kusut lg. Smoga aja bsk ud bs lincah lg.

*goin to land of peace*

--
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choosy buyer

S'up...

Banyak banget yg pengen di-update tp ga sempet buat nulis. To b honest
gw agak kcewa ma myself,  bukannya bikin gw makin rajin nge-blog
malah bikin tambah jauh..jadi kerjaan gw tiap ari kalo lg megang2 
cuman chat, fb n browsing aja...totally useless. Untung diingetin ma
si gothe, temen aneh tp nyata masa kul, supaya di-update lg blogkuw
ini :)

So, today is d last day dr long wiken. Dedekuw baru aja plg. Sblm dy
plg I anter dy blanja d ambas yg tambah crowded n makin kaya pasar.
Katanya sih mau cari sepatu pantofel item teplek n celana panjang
item. Ga banyak sih, tp dede tuh kalo cari barang udah ke-set di
otaknya, very spesific. Ga bisa melenceng dari bayangannya sedikitpun.
So u've to be fully sabaaarr n rajin mengelus buah dada, karena dy
akan jelajahin semua tempat yg ada demi utk ngedapatin apa yg dy mao,
exactly d same.

Seperti byasa, kalo gw nganter org blanja, yg banyakan ngeborong ya
gw. Kali ini, dede ga beli apa2 tp kakaknya yg laper mata lgs
ngeborong ini itu. Dede bilang,"lo ga ngerasa bersalah beli sendal
mulu, harganya segitu lagi." N seperti byasa, I've no regrets at all.

See I dun understand why it takes so much tym to choose things that
she wanted? But I can't say nuttin -- guess it runs in d family. My
mom jg gitu soalna, kalo mau beli barang tuh heboh banget, belon acara
tawar menawarnya. Typical yg sangat cucok utk belanja d Brother Land.
As for me, guess I pretty much copied from my dad..ga mao pusing
nyari2 barang, n hav a tendency to juz grab anything in front of me, n
run to the cashier. I know what I wanted n having lotsa variety of
options in mind when it comes to something I need.

My sis is going back to d dorm wif empty handed, after spending more
than 3 hours mengukur jalan d itc n mall ambass. But I believe she'll
find what she wanted...if she just spend about a day or two, lookin it
at all malls in depok or bogor ;P Ciayo, sis.

--
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nu comer on d street

I got my driving license! Senangnya..nggak sia2 pengorbanan gw dtg k
samsat bekasi yg super panas n dpenuhi mas2 calo itu. Murmer euy,
cuman 350rb..jadi dlm waktu kurang lbh 1,5 jam. Ada tes teori n
praktek, but itu cuman formalitas aja..u know lah..

Anyway, abis plg bikin sim gw lgs mijit, n blajar nyetir ma bokap.
Hebat ya, punya sim dulu baru belajar nyetir ;D

Flashback dulu: 11 taun lalu, tepatnya pas umur gw 13 taun, bokap
ngajarin gw nyetir pake mobil kijang lama yg belon power steering.
Dulu udah bs maju doang. Itu sekali2nya bokap ngajarin. Skrg
tumben2nya ne bokap mau ngajarin lg..

So kita bljr d permata timur yg lumayan sepi n jarang mobil (tp byk
bgt polisi tidurnya). Thanks God, bokap dipenuhi kesabaran utk
ngajarin anak stubborn kayak gw..hehe..

Gw br sadar kalo kursus nyetir yg ud 2 weeks gw ikutin tuh means
nuttin. Instrukturnya itung2an waktu n nggak mau ngulang2 di 'titik2
kelemahan' gw. Bedanya bljar kursus sama bljar pake mobil sndiri ada
2, i.e:

1. Lo lbh pede nyetir pake mobil kursus krn ada instruktur d sblh yg
nge-guide, n nginjek rem kalo lo lupa, so lo bisa nge-gas terus ;D
kalo mobil sndiri kan ga bs dkontrol yg ngajarin..nabrak is nabrak,
man

2. Lo nggak worry kalo nyerempet pengguna jalan laen kalo u naik mobil
kursus kan ada asuransi. Kalo pake mobil sendiri, apalagi mobil gw
udah abis ass-nya..yah aga2 ga pede gitu loh kalo knp2..males k ketok
magic-nya..hohoho..

Anyway, sabtu ini gw mo bljar nyetir lagi..pokoke hrs bisa. Kalo masih
belon bisa, gw bakal ngabisin cuti gw hr senen mingdep dgn
nge-gazzzzzzz

--
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on leave

Waaaawaaww..udah lama bener ga nge-blog, udah tumpul lg ne kemampuan gw..hoho..

Tadinya gw pikir pake  bisa dgn mudahnya nge-blog dgn lgs ngetik d
website-nya. Taunya ga sgampang itu. Kudu daftar email blogger dulu n
ada secret word segala, but anyway skrg ud tau caranya so setidaknya
bs mngurangi addiction gw sm fb :P

Well, I'm on leave fer 2 days starting tday. Kegiatan gw hari ini
cuman buka fb, beresin rmh, buka fb, nonton, buka fb, k rmh
ortu..ngobrol2, buka fb lagi. Totally unproductive. Ini pertama
kalinya gw ngrasa ga betah d rmh. I nd to c people, not to interact
wit em. This feeling is new for me yg aga2 autis n antisocial (before)

Tomorrow I'm planning to get my driving license. Gw ud bljr nyetir dr
2 mgu lalu n ternyata ga sesulit yg gw bayangkan asal punya nyali
supir angkot yg untungnya gw miliki :P

Tar kalo udah bs kebut2an, baru deh gw jalan2 sendiri k puncak kalo lg
cuti gini. Secara, cuti hubby juga ga pernah nyambung sm gw..ya mao ga
mao utk cuti2 sehari dua hari kayak gini, kudu bs memanjakan diri
sendiri, sekaligus cuci mata pastinya ;D

--
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